Time to musk up

"It's Made With Bits of Real Panther, So You Know It's Good."

The illegal-in-nine-countries Sex Panther by Odeon.

Deemed "quite pungent" and "formidable," the scent was said to "sting the nostrils ... in a good way" and even to smell "like pure gasoline."

This might sound unappealing, but "they've done studies, you know: 60 percent of the time it works, every time."

Finally finally finally! Paramount is now ACTUALLY producing this cologne, and you can buy it here, on sex-panther.com, for a mere $29.99.

30 bucks may seem like a lot for a novelty item, but how else are you going to smell like a turd covered in burnt hair?