Monday, April 14, 2008

Street Kings!


I saw the best horrible movie yesterday. It was a dumb story, filled with clichés, aerial shots of City Hall and even a cop funeral. How many times have we already seen this?

A sample of some dialogue:

Keanu:

"This thing you want that you think you want, you don't want"

Chris Evans:

"You don't know what I want."


"Bad breeds bad"


"Blood doesn't wash away blood"


“You went toe-to-toe with evil and you won”
There were so many more good ones, but I didn't have a notepad with me.
James Ellroy, what is wrong with you? Did you seriously write this triteness?
I laughed out loud at least 8 times.
Are these people trying to make the "Showgirls" of retro-1990s cop movies?
BUT.
For some fantastically mind-screwing reason, I was entertained the whole way through.
It was fun to count stereotypes, enjoy LA from a bird's eye view, and guess what sweet one-liner the movie was going to end on.

Also worth noting:

This movie is painfully miscast. I don't think one actor fits with their role, except maybe Common, who has about 5 minutes of screentime.

Jay Mohr was like one of his bad jokes, complete with a terrible Hitler/porn-stache.

Forest Whitaker does some first rate overacting, almost like he's on a soap opera.
What kind of backwards time are we living in where Keanu acts better than Forest Whitaker?
I'm scared. Hold me.

Keanu though. My God he is attractive.

The End.

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